Trailer Park Pony's
by SkorchNTorch
Summary: After finding a 'free' RV, Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are taken to Equestria. Oh. and turned into Pony's. So now they've got no criminal records, so what's their plan? Rob Canterlot Castle of Course. Please Review and Enjoy! WARNING! LOT'S OF DRUG USE AND LANGUAGE. NOT 'M' DUE TO NO SEXUAL CONTENT. Also, I don't own the cover image.
1. The Strange RV

Trailer Park Pony's

_Cool, cool. Hey, I'm the author. I wanna explain two things real quick_

_Trailer Park Boys: A Canadian comedy-mockumentry about three dudes, Julian, Bubbles and-who could forget- Ricky. These three are criminals, but we love em' anyway! Oh, Bubbles loves cats, Julian's got this thing for alcohol and Ricky's got this really BIG thing for Marijuana. The trio often get's into crazy half-baked plans to get rich quick then retire. Oh. They have all done jail time as well._

_(Ugh.) My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: is (aside from one of he worst shows ever.) An animated series where we follow six ponies; Twilight Sparkle, the leader I guess… Also sorta a bookworm. Pinkie Pie, who I'm pretty sure, is on meth 98% of her life. Rainbow Dash, a high-speed flyer who's a daredevil. Fluttershy, the kind but quiet one (we all know that type.) She also can talk to animals. Apple Jack a country pony and Rarity, seamstresses British pony. (I'm not lying.) Also, we've got Spike, Twilight's friend/pet dragon and Discord, a Dragonesques, who's actually not a really bad guy, (and the one character I like.) _

_So blah, blah, blah. What would happen if our favorite Trailer Park Trio ended up picking up an old Motor Home, which would accidently, transported them to Equestria? A land full of happiness, friendship and –most importantly- no Layhe or Criminal records on the boys! So Ricky quickly plans the biggest heist __**ever.**__ The target? Canterlot Castle._

Sunnyville

"Aw Fuck!" Julian grumbled. "Bubbles! Get your damn cats off of my lawn!"

"Hey!" Bubbles yelled. "Duke! Fuzzy! Pot! Get off'a Julian's lawn!"

The three cats looked up, saw Julian and ran back to the shed where they lived. Julian sat down outside and took a drink.

"Hey J." Bubbles said. "Where's Ricky?"

"The fuck should I know?" Julian grumbled. "Probably out smokin' weed and fucking with Randy."

Suddenly, an RV pulled up. Ricky leaned out from the window.

"Hey fuckers!" He called. "Look what I just scored!"

"Fucking sweet RV Rick!" Bubbles exclaimed. "Where'd you get it?"

"I was walking down the road y'know, smokin a joint… Then I see this guy putting a sign up saying 'free'! I got in and drove off in it."

The trio got in and began looking around. Bubbles looked at the dashboard and saw a switch.

"Hey guys." He said. "What do you think this is?"

"I dunno Bubbs, try hitting it." Julian replied sarcastically.

Bubbles flicked the switch.

"You fucking idiot!" Julian exclaimed. "I was being sarcastic!"

Suddenly the RV vanished. The boys fond themselves floating through a strange tunnel, finally they landed and looked around. They were outside a forest and everything except the forest seemed bright and colorful.

"Uh… We still in Sunnyvale?" Ricky asked.

"Hey boys…" Bubbles said slowly. "Something's really fucky…"

"Why you sayin' that?" Ricky asked.

"You're a horse."

Ricky and Julian looked down. Ricky was a yellow Pegasus with a brown mane; Julian was a blue unicorn with a black mane and Bubbles was a green alicorn with a blue mane.

"What the fuck Julian?" Ricky said. "Why am I a fucking pony?"

"How the fuck should I know?" Julian replied.

"I dunno about you guys, but I'm kinda fuckin' stoned right now…"

** Cool. So Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles are pony's, in some weird land and have no idea what's going on. Please read and review, no flames tho'. If you've got ideas, let me know!**


	2. Where are we?

**Dang school sucks! I've been really, really busy… But hey I'm back! So when we left off, Ricky, Bubbles and Julian are ponies now… This should be fun.**

"Ricky what the **_FUCK DID YOU DO?!_****" **Julian yelled, clearly angered and freaked out that he was a pony.

"How should I know?!" Ricky retorted. "You're the smart one! Besides, you told Bubbs to push that weird button!"

"I was being sarcastic damn it!"

Ricky and Julian bumped heads and looked ready to fight.

"Boys! Boys!" Bubbles yelled, pushing his way in between the two. "You can kill each other later! Right now we've got bigger problems!"

"We're fuckin' horses Bubb." Julian said in his dry way. "What the hell kinda 'bigger problems' could there be?"

"Uhhh… Try 17 armed horses are standing right there watching us and we mighta pissed em' off. Does that sound worse?"

"Wow. That does." Rick mused. "But no fuckin' way there's 17 armed…"

His voice trailed off as he saw that there **_WERE_** 17 hor-er-ponies watching them, all of them clad in armor and with spears, as if they were part of some royal guard thing…

"Halt strangers!" The one in the front said in a powerful voice. "Who are you and what business do you have in Canterlot castle home of Princess Celesta and Princess Luna?"

"We come to fuck those bitches of they can't send us home!" Julian spat.

The guards were taken aback by the way Julian spoke.

"Uhhh… J?" Ricky whispered. "Usually I'm not opposed to this kinda stuff, but they might be the only ones who can send us home. Maybe we shouldn't mention fucking them…"

"What if they're hot?" Bubbles whispered in.

Ricky and Julian shot him a glance that said. _Really?_

"No one speaks of the princesses in such a way!" The pony yelled. Clearly agitated. All 17 ponies put their spears forward ready to attack, Julian's horn glowed and several guns telepathically floated around him. They all glared at each other, ready to fight.

"**_ENOUGH!_**" Bubbles yelled, startling everyone. He landed in between Julian and the others and his wings extended and his horn glowed. Julian's guns and the guards spears were taken from them and thrown in a pile about 12 feet away.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Bubbles roared facing Julian, surprisingly Julian backed away in fear while Ricky stood there with a smug grin. He knew someday this would happen.

"Christ Julian!" Bubbles continued. "We don't know who these guys are! All they did was ask us what were doing here and you threaten to rape their ruler and pull guns on em'? Were not in Sunnyvale!" Lowering his voice he added. "I doubt they know who we are… And since Randy and Layhe weren't with us no one knows what we've done! We could get away with so much! Don't blow this!"

Julian was silent, considering this then he sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry I threatened your ruler and you guys." He said, clearly not happy to though. "Me and my friends here… We're not from here. I overreacted and I'm sorry okay? No hard feelings?"

It was silent for a moment before one of the guards spoke up.

"Do not harm the princesses and all will be well."

"Hey we won't." Bubbles said before Julian could get a word in edgewise.

"Thank you your highness."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Ricky exclaimed. "Whadd'ya mean _highness?_"

"Your friend is an alicorn." The lead guard said. "They are royalty in our world and only three were known to exist before you arrived."

"Holy fuckin' shit bubbs!" Ricky elaimed. "Your friggin' royalty!"

Turning to the guards Bubbles began to speak, trying to seem powerful, but his voice was still stuttering."

"U…Uhh…Umm… Could you guys maybe…tell us where we a-are?"

"Real fuckin' smooth…" Julian grumbled, and Ricky hoofed him in the ribs.

"You are at Canterlot castle." The head guard stated. "Capitol of Equestria. My name is Shining Armor, head of her majesties royal guard."

"Uh, hey. The name's Ricky." Ricky said. "Sorry bout' our pal Julian here." He said, motioning to Julian.

"And I'm Bubbles." Bubbles finished. "Could we talk with the princesses? We just wanna go home."

"Well…" Shining Armor began. "Princess Celesta is meeting with her student and her friends."

"Who's her student?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle."

**WOO! It's finally done! So the Trailer Park Boys-er- Trailer Park Ponies (I guess…) Are going to meet some familiar faces next chapter! Stick around! Also, review if you wanna. But no flames. ****J**


	3. Dude Just shut up

**Hey guys! Raptor here! Before this chapter begins, two things: 1.) I've got exams coming up, so this might be the last update for a few weeks. Sorry! ****L****But I've just gotta get through this. 2.) Thanks to HCShannon for a huge bit of inspiration which is goanna show up real soon. With that outta the way, let's get to the story!**

"Why the fuck do we have to do this?" Julian grumbled.

"Because apparently Bubbs' royalty now. Shut up and go with it." Ricky responded flatly.

The trio had been led inside the castle by the guards (all of whom surrounded Julian defensively, not letting him move to freely.) now the three we waiting outside a door leading to the throne room.

"Either the ruler of this land is female or really, **REALLY**…"

"Gay?" Bubbles asked.

"_That's_ the word I was looking for." Ricky nodded.

The doors opened and all three went silent. Then Shining Armor led them in. In the room we two large alicorns, a white one and a black one. There was a smaller purple one, a blue Pegasus and a yellow Pegasus, a white unicorn, an orange pony with a cowboy hat and a pink pony who seemed to be bouncing around.

"Princesses, may I present our visitors. Bubbles, Ricky and Julian."

"Hey, how's it rolling?" Ricky said in a friendly way.

"_OHMYGOSHHI!MYNAME'SPINKIEPIEANDIT'SSOAWESOMETOMEETYOUGUYS!IHAVENOIDEAWHOYOUAREBUTWESHOULDHAVEAPARTYTOCELEBRATEYOUGUYSSHOWINGUPOHMYGOSH!IT'LLBETHEBESTESTPARTYEVER!"_ The pink pony exclaimed.

The boys were dead silent.

"The fuck did you just say?" Julian asked confused. Turning to Ricky and Bubbles he asked. "Anyone fucking understand her?" Julian's response did not seem to sit well with the other 7 ponies.

"She said 'hi', 'party' and 'pinkie pie'." Bubbles said to Julian. "That's all I could pick up."

Turning to the pink pony he asked.

"Your name's Pinkie Pie?"

"Yup!" Pinkie Pie responded happily bouncing around. "It's so cool to see another Allicorn! I didn't know there were any others!"

"Seriously… What the fuck…" Julian said again. One of the guards poked him with his spear. "Hey! Fuck you shit-dick!"

"Julian, could you please just _chill?_" Bubbles sighed, face-hooving himself.

"Like hell I wi…" Julian was suddenly cut off, as his entire body was frozen into an ice block. Needless to say, Ricky and Bubbles lost it.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCKJUSTHAPENED?!" _**Ricky exclaimed. Running in circles.

_Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit… _Bubbles thought. "Uhhh… Unfreeze…?"

Nothing happened.

"Unfreeze… please?"

Julian immediately defrosted.

_Wow. _Ricky thought. _I guess 'please' really IS the magic word…_

"Geez… I've got freezer burn like you won't believe…" Mumbled Julian.

"Uhhh… I'd like to apologize for our friend Julian." Bubbles said, facing the silent eight. (Even Pinkie Pie, who had stopped jumping around when Julian was frozen). "Were not from this land… In fact, were not even supposed to be hors-er-ponies. In our world, were humans."

"Humans?" The smaller purple alicorn asked.

"Yeah, y'know. Walk on two feet, beige skin, that kinda cr-stuff." Ricky offered but stopped himself from cursing. Normally he wouldn't give two fucks, but here this didn't seem like a place to cause a storm.

"Oh, uh… I'm… I'm Bubbles…" Bubbles said awkwardly and nervously.

"Yeah, and I'm Ricky." Ricky added in.

"And I'm Julian." Julian finished. "And well, I'm sorry for being so mean okay? I'm not used to being a pony, or being transported to another world."

"Well at least _two_ of you have some class." The white pony said with a english accent.

"Fuck. You." Julian growled with anger in his eyes.

The blue pegasus suddenly shot in, seemingly angry.

"What gives you the nerve to talk to Rarity like that?!" She spat.

To everyone's surprise, Julian started laughing.

"Rarity?!" He laughed. "Oh my God! That's the stupidest name I've ever fuckin' heard!"

The white unicorn, Rarity, seemed hurt by this.

"Julian. You've got 5 seconds to apologize to Rarity before I freeze your pony ass." Bubbles said in a surprisingly calm yet angered tone.

"You're bluffing." Julian said rolling his eyes.

"Five…"

"Whatever."

"Four…"

"Don't care."

"Three…"

"You're not goanna do it."

"Two…"

Bubbles' horn began to glow and Julian's eyes widened.

"One…"

"All right! All right!" Julian exclaimed. Turning to Rarity he sighed and said. "I'm sorry ok? I'm really not in a good mood right now and I'm not looking to come to a new land and start making enemies."

"So far you've done a real good job of it." The blue pegasus said, still angered at Julian's treatment of her friend.

"You're a bit…" Julian began, but was cut of as a layer of ice covered his mouth.

"You don't get to talk anymore." Ricky said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah. Sorry Ms. Rarity," Bubbles added. "Julian's always a little moody. Your name isn't stupid either.

Rarity seemed better.

"I'm Rainbow Dash." The blue pegasus said to Ricky and Bubbles.

"I'm Applejack." The orange pony said.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle." The purple Alicorn said.

"I'm…ummm…uhhh…Fluttershy" the yellow pegasus said quietly.

"Sorry… What? I didn't catch that." Ricky said to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy." She squeaked.

"Oh. Uh, hey, I'm Ricky."

The two looked awkwardly at each other before Applejack finally said.

"What're y'all doin' here?"

"Well, Ricky found this RV on the side of the road back where we came from. Me, him, and Julian were looking around and I hit this weird button, then we ended up here and the RV was gone." Bubbles explained. "Were not trying to cause problems we just want to go home."

"We are not sure if we can send you home." The white alicorn said finally.

"Shit." Ricky grumbled. "Trin's got no idea where we are and I was supposed to watch her this weekend."

"Who's Trin?"

"Trinity, my daughter."

By now the ice from Julian's mouth had melted and he walked forward to Ricky.

"Aw c'mon man." He said (surprising the others) in a friendly/comforting way. "We've been through tougher sticks and made it through. Remember when Bubbles let Trinity's science fair project out? That was a bigger mess than this. We got through that, were goanna get through this. Cause that's what Trailer Park Boys do."

While Ricky was still sulking, this did make him chuckle a little.

"Oscar Goldman? Yeah, I remember. A snake bit my cock, we trashed Jim's place and Trin nearly failed science… But yeah, we did get through that all right."

"See boys?" Bubbles said. "This is the way it's supposed to be."

All three laughed.

**Sweet. Chapter 3 is done! I am so loving the support you guys are giving me! As always, R&amp;R for more! Also, if you didn't get the reference. Oscar Goldman is a reference to the episode 'Where the F $k is Oscar Goldman?!' which is my favorite episode.** **So now that we've met everyone, it's time for hilarity to ensue. Next chapter, Bubbles tries adjusting to royal life, Ricky and Pinkie decide to party and Julian is forced to take anger management lessons from Fluttershy. Let's see how that goes…**


	4. Anger Management, Royalty, and Marijuana

**Wow I've been gone awhile. Sorry about that. This may be a shorter chapter but I think you guys will enjoy it.**

"Wow." Bubbles said in awe.

"You like it?" A carpenter pony asked.

Bubbles had been given a castle due to his royalty, and they had been re-designing it. Intricate designs (mostly of cats and pot leafs) were among the many stain-glass windows. His throne, seated at the end of the great hall, was made entirely out of glass. It was a throne bong. It was Ricky's idea really. Now any of them could take bong-rips while sitting on the throne.

"This. Is. **AWESOME.**" Bubbles said, after looking around.

_Meanwhile…_

"So if were goanna party, were goanna need some weed." Ricky said.

"_ohmygoshthatsoundsawesome!" _Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "But… What's weed?"

"Really? You guys don't have pot here?"

"Pot? I thought you called it weed." Twilight said.

"Pot, weed, hash, Mary Jane, marijuana, kooch, herb, blunts, doobs, joints whatever you wanna call it, It's the same thing." Ricky shrugged.

"What is it?"

"It's a plant." Ricky explained, putting a bag down. "When you bake with it or grind it and smoke it, it makes your mind go hazy and you feel great."

"Could you put it into cupcakes?" Pinkie asked.

"Pot cupcakes? Never tried that." Ricky said thoughtfully.

_Meanwhile…_

"I ain't fuckin' doing this." Julian grumbled.

"Oh my…" Fluttershy said. "You have a bit of a temper don't you?"

Needless to say, Julian was not having a good time. It was embarrassing enough to be frozen in front of everyone, but now his hooves were in chains and he was sitting in a room giving the death stare to the yellow pegasus' pet rabbit. Apparently, he had an _'anger issue' _and was now being counseled by Fluttershy.

"Look, what do you want?" he asked bluntly.

"Well…ummm…" She began.

"Are you fucking stupid? Whaddya want!?" He snapped.

Fluttershy began crying and (as much as he hated to admit it.) Julian felt bad.

"Christ. I didn't mean it that way…" He said awkwardly. This didn't seem to help. But he noticed that the chains holding him weren't attached to the ground. He picked the lock with his horn and quietly slipped by Fluttershy, still crying and left the room running.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey, is Pinkie alright?" Rainbow asked.

Pinkie had just tried smoking a small amount of marijuana and she was incredibly mellow.

"ha…*cough* have any of you seen my car? It's pretty and I wanna pet it…" she said without her usual extreme energy.

"Yeah… she's just on a first time high." Ricky shrugged. "In a few hours she'll be fine."

_Meanwhile…_

"Bubbles! HELP!" Julian exclaimed running into the room.

"Julian? What the fuck's wrong with you?" Bubbles asked.

"Crazy…yellow…pegasus…anger…management…HELP!" He panted out of breath.

"Look. Jul, I'd love to… It's just… Your under royal order to take anger management classes from Fluttershy."

"Damn it Bubbs!" Julian exclaimed. "Just because you've got this royal power doesn't mean you've gotta use it!"

"I didn't. Celestia did."

"Umm… Is this a bad time?" Fluttershy said in her quiet voice. Peeking into the room.

"No it isn't Ms. Shy." Bubbles said. "Uhhh… Jul…Julian was just telling me about how well it was going…"

Suddenly, a rainbow blur shot into the room and Rainbow Dash was glairing at Julian.

"Alright you **_JERK!_**" She yelled. "Just **_where_** do **_you_** get the **_NERVE_** to yell at Fluttershy while she's trying to **_HELP_** you! You made her cry for Celistia's sake! **WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!**"

"Well… I might've called her stupid…" Julian said nervously.

"Umm…" Fluttershy timidly began.

"Actually, you called her 'fucking stupid'." Rainbow Dash cut in.

Julian groaned.

"Jul, this is why you're in anger management." Bubbles said, flying down to his friend. "You need to learn to be more humane."

"Bubbs, their ponies. _Fucking __**PONIES**_." Julian said, his eyes narrowing. "You used to be cool ya know that dip shit? Now you're acting like a fucking douchebag. All because you're some gay-ass royalty in some homosexuals wet dream!"

"Julian. You're my friend." Bubbles said calmly. "But if you ain't happy here…"

"What fucking tipped you off?!"

"Well, I'm not goanna force you to stay, if you wanna leave then go."

"Cool. I'm out."

Julian telepathically brought a bottle of apple cider and alcohol to his mouth then immediately spit it out. It happened to land all over Rarity, who was with the others and Ricky.

"What in Equestria was that for?!" She shrieked.

"Fuck you!" Julian yelled. Then he called to Applejack. "Your cider tastes like pig shit!"

"Geez, what's his problem?" Ricky asked walking into the room. "Meh, forget it. WHO'S READY TO PARTY!?"

"Whoo!" Pinkie exclaimed. The duo bumped hooves.

"I don't wanna party." Bubbles said sadly. "I just wanna be alone." He flapped his wings and flew out of the room, clearly crying.

"Well, more party for us!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"I think this might be bad timing for a party…" Rainbow said trying to ease Pinkie Pie down.

Twilight turned to Ricky, clearly dismayed by how his friends were doing.

"Hey Ricky? I think I know someone who can help your friend." She said.

"Who?" He asked. "Some counselor pony?"

"Well, he's not really pony…"

**All right, sorry for being gone for so long. Right now, everyone's split. How cliché is that? And who is this mysterious non-pony who's going to try and help? (You should know this.) And didn't I mention some sort of heist in chapter one? Am I really just to lazy to get to what I promised without writing a whole story around it? I dunno. Feel free to comment, fav, and follow for more.**


	5. Let's party!

**Yeah, I've been gone awhile I know, but I've had work, friends, Friday Night Magic and a bunch of other stuff. But now I'm back. This is the last chapter for introducing characters. So enjoy. (Also, the song lyrics used are in a parody fashion, original artist is… Eminem.) **

The party was going well, Dj-Pon3 was playing, Ricky was drunk and high and dancing on the table.

"A little party never killed nobody…" He sang.

Bubbles was looking out the window when Twilight walked over.

"Hey Bubbles? You alright?" She asked.

"What? Oh, I guess…" He mumbled.

"If something's wrong you can say it."

"It's just… I hope your friend can help Julian is all."

_Meanwhile…_

Julian was sitting by a pond, he managed to get some beer from a bar and was drinking it.

"Hey there, are you Julian?" A voice asked.

Julian turned around and saw a creature with the head of a pony and a body with a bunch of animal parts.

"Who the fuck are you?" Julian said confused and slightly agitated.

"The name is Discord." Discord said. "I am the ex-spirit of chaos and current ally to the elements of harmony."

"So why are you here?"

"Well, I herd about some new guys in town and decided to introduce myself." Discord lied.

"Okay, and now that your bullshit story is done, mind telling me why your really here?" Julian said, rolling his eyes.

"Y'know, you're not making this any easier for anyone." Discord frowned. "I'm here because I think I can help."

"Unless you can send me home, you can't" Julian replied, dead-panned.

"Well, you have one thing right," Discord sighed. Sitting down beside Julian. "I can't send you home."

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Julian grumbled.

"Why are you always so angered?" Discord ventured.

"I'm not mad, I'm irritated, and there's a freaking difference."

"…and that is?"

"Why the hell do you even care?" Julian suddenly snapped. "We're trapped in some weird-ass world where everyone in a horse, my so-called 'best friends' all turned on me and now everyone hates me!"

There was a long silence before Discord finally spoke.

"I know exactly how you feel. Maybe… I dunno, a year or two ago, I was feared by everypony this side of Equestria. I was nothing more than a monster. I caused chaos for fun and my own amusement; I hurt others without thinking of the consequences. When I was finally stopped, I was ordered to be re-formed. Like you were. And like you, I didn't want to. I fought against them with everything I could, mind you. It was that or be encased in stone again. But eventually… I found something, something you and the other two have."

"What's that?" Julian asked.

"A special bond." Discord replied. "The mane six had no idea how to deal with me, so they kinda tossed me around and…"

**Look, you all know where this is going. Discord and Julian talk, suddenly Julian changes his mind and decides to forgive Bubbles because Bubbs is new to this 'Royalty' gig. And decides to return to the party.**

"Hey everypony!" Vinyl Scratch called. "We's got us a new singer! I want you all to welcome The Trailer Park Pony!"

There was a loud cheer as a pony walked out of the shadows towards the mic.

"Holy Fuck…" Bubbles gaped.

"Aw man… It ain't…" Ricky laughed.

To their surprise, Julian walked up to the mic.

"Look" He began slowly as the music began.

"If you had

One shot

Or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted

In one moment

Would you capture it

Or just let it slip?

Yo , His hooves are sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti,

There's vomit on his mane already, mom's spaghetti

I'm nervous, but on the surface I looks calm and ready

To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'

What I wrote down, my a pology now.

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now

The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity

Oh, there goes Rarity, she choked she's so mad, bout how I was speaking to her

He won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, he's no harmony He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better

The foals escaping, through this hole that its gaping

This rhyme is mine for the taking Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order

A normal life is borin', but super stardom's close to post mortar

It only grows harder, rollin' with Discord

He blows us all over causin' all this chaos

Coast to coast shows, he's known as the foaltrotter

Lonely roads, Luna only knows, he's grown farther from home, he's no father He goes home and dreams of being accepted

But hold your thought's cause the past is all over now, we've changed our ways time to party now!"

By now, everyone was dancing and moving to the beat.

"your friend's awesome!" Pinkie yelled to Bubbles over the music.

Julian continued.

"They moved on to the next schmo who flows, he nose dove and sold nada

So the soap opera is told and unfolds, I suppose it's old partna, but the beat goes on

Da da dumb da dumb da da

No more games, I'm a change what you call rage

Tear this motherfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged I was playin' in the beginnin', the mood all changed

I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept rhymin' and stepwritin' the next cipher

Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper

All the pain inside amplified by the Fact that I can't get by with my nine to Five and I can't provide the right type of

Life for my family 'cause man, these God damn food stamps don't buy diapers

And its no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer

This is my life and these times are so hard And it's getting even harder tryin' to feed and water my seed, plus

See dishonor caught up between bein' a father and a prima-donna

Baby mama drama screamin' on and too much For me to want to say in one spot, another jam or not

Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got

To formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot Success is my only motherfuckin' option, failures not

Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go, I cannot grow old in Salem's lot So here I go is my shot

Hooves fail me not 'cause maybe the only opportunity that I go now!"

Everypony burst into cheers and applause as Julian finished his song. He handed the mic back to Vinyl Scratch and jumped down into the crowd.

"Julian! That was fucking awesome!" Ricky exclaimed.

"Why'd you come back?" Bubbles asked.

-Insert clichéd answer about loyalty and freindship with 50 uses of the 'F' word here.-

"Ah." Ricky nodded.

**Sorry for being gone so long. (And party rocking.) So next time, everyone returns to Ponyville, Ricky and Spike try to have a cookout, Bubbles will attempt to… Well, avoid boredom and Julian is going to have a run-in with the CMC and offend everyone. Well, until next time!**


	6. Author's Note

Authors Note.

I'm still working on this story, I really am. I've just lost my flow. So to make up for it, I've got a big announcement , I've got two new stories I'm working on. One of the two is a Mortal Kombat X/Predator/Whatever I feel like. The story will feature Erron Black and Dale the Predator (if you want to see what Dale looks like, it's based off the 'Hunter' variation in MKX) as the duo travel through a bunch of dimensions (one of them being into my previous story 'Trailer Park Ponies'.) and probably stuff such as Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Deadpool, JLA, SpongeBob Squarepants, Ratchet and Clank, Assassin's Creed and bunch of other worlds as well. The other series will feature Batman facing off with legendary horror villains. The first one will feature Batman having to deal with a certain machete-wielder.

It's Freddy Kruger.


	7. School House Brawl

**Okay, there's a lot of Bronies out there to offend. Let's do this. Wow. I've been gone awhile. Sorry 'bout that.**

Three days had passed since the party, while the mane 9, (now with the trailer park boys) were supposed to leave the day after the party, but Ricky got extremely drunk during the party and got really hung over. Anyhow, they had loaded everyone onto the train and headed to ponyville. Ricky and Rarity had to share a room, as did; Bubbles and Fluttershy, Julian and Rainbow Dash and so on. While Rarity was brushing her mane, Ricky rolled off his bed and staggered out into the hall.

"Hey Ricky, you all right?" Julian asked seeing his friend.

"Garrbbblll…" Ricky garbled before throwing up, then falling into the vomit and passing out.

"Fuck… Hey Dash… We have any medicine on this fuckin' train? Rick's still shit-faced and uhh… He's passed out in his own vomit…"

"Oh FUCK!" Bubbles exclaimed. "Ricky?! You all right man?"

"What… what happened to him?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"The dumb-ass got drunk again." Julian said, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to get food. Call me when he wakes up."

"Your not going to wait and make sure he's okay?" Fluttershy asked, half shocked and half angered at Julian's reaction.

"Why the hell should I? This sonuvabitch drank himself out, It's not my problem."

Before anypony could respond, Julian turned and left.

_Two Hours Later…_

While the mane six, Julian and Bubbles were talking; Ricky woke up, with a huge headache, and made his way to the others.

"Yo, Ricky." Bubbles said. "How ya feelin'?"

"I got a fucking headache that you wouldn't fucking believe." He grumbled

A few mothers covered their foals' ears; everyone was uncomfortable with somepony swearing as casually as Ricky and Julian was.

"Too bad." Julian smirked. "Couldn'tve happened to a better pony."

"Same could be said about your three ex-wives cheating on you." Ricky shot back.

"Not cool dude. Not fucking cool."

"Yeah?" Ricky shot back. "What'cha gonna do about dick face?"

"I dunno shit-for-brains, you wanna take this outside?"

"We're on a train retard!"

"No shit Sherlock!"

"Are they always like this?" Twilight asked Bubbles.

"Yeah." Bubbles nodded. "It kinda sucks but we're really good friends at heart."

"**_YA KNOW WHAT?! YOU CAN GO SUCK COCKS IN HELL JULIAN! YOU FUCKING RETARD! FUCK YOU!"_** Ricky suddenly exploded.

"Well, most of the time." Bubbles added.

_45 seconds later…_

"Well **_THIS_** is just great Ricky!" Julian grumbled. "You went and got us kicked off the train."

"Waitwaitwait." Ricky said shaking his front hoof. "**_MY_** fault? Dude. Your the one who threw the first punch."

After a (explosive) conversation. Julian decided to bring Ricky down a notch and kicked him in the jaw with his hind legs. Julian bashed Ricky over the head telepathically with a bottle of alcohol. Ricky fought back violently, which then led to the pair being thrown off the train.)

"Yes, I did. But only after **_YOU_** threw the first insult!"

"Ah, so you getting hung over, making fun of me having been divorced and not continuing the argument was **_MY_** fault?" Julian reasoned.

"Yes. It was."

The two kept throwing insults back-and-forth as they walked back toward the town where they had to stay, and neither one noticed they walked onto a school yard.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ Rick." Julian sighed. "What happened to us?"

"Well. I found a weird RV, and we all got transported into a technicolour acid trip and we're stuck now in this horse fetishers wet dream and were stuck as fucking horses and can't go home.

"Uh. Are yall okay?" Came a small voice.

The two looked down and saw three small ponies. One was a yellow pony, another was an orange pegasus and the third was a white unicorn.

"Th'fuck are you looking at?"

"Don't talk to her like that!" The pegasus shouted.

"And what the hell are you going to do about it glue stick?" Julian retorted.

On that the three fillies jumped onto Julian and began attacking, all while Ricky laughed uncontrollably.


End file.
